Two Months

Two months ago today my husband died. It seems like forever, it seems like yesterday.
My son and I went to visit a woman last week who I have been friends with for more than ten years. She was already widowed when I first met her. She raised her nephew after her brother died. She has known a significant amount of loss in her life. My son and the nephew are good friends and so he is friends with my friend as well. After a short visit we left and my son and I talked in the car. “I was never sympathetic enough,” I said. “No,” he agreed. “But how could you know how hard it was? It’s something you have to experience to understand.” He knew what I felt, what he felt, what our friend must have felt, and still feels living alone now in an empty house.
When we got home my Visiting Teachers were at the door. I welcomed them in, we chatted, and they gave a lesson on Christ as our Comforter. One of the sisters said, “Christ experienced all our pains, all our sorrows, so that he could understand what we went through.”
I thought of my son’s words, “It’s something you have to experience to understand.” Suddenly the Atonement took on a new, deeper meaning. It was no longer just words. He experienced what we feel. He knows. He is sympathetic, because he has felt the pain and the loss, the loneliness and the if onlys. He has experienced it. He understands perfectly.
And He has a plan for us. It wasn’t the plan I had. But I trust in his plan. I trust his judgement for me.
Two months. I wonder if my husband misses me as much as I miss him? Is his perspective different than mine? I guess I’ll understand that too someday. But I trust that he loves me and that we will be together again. It may be a long time, it may be tomorrow but one thing is sure, that day will come.

About Karen Hopkins

Karen Hopkins (1949-) was born in Los Angeles and raised in Martinez, California. At seventeen she moved to Talcahuano, Chile. After completing her university degree she worked in London, England for Pan American Airlines and traveled extensively throughout Europe, the Middle East, and India. For twenty-six years Karen taught Spanish and English as a Second Language in a variety of settings including a private school in Panama, the "most remote school in the United States" in Ticaboo, Utah, the Navajo Reservation, and a teacher exchange in Hermosillo, Mexico. Karen and her husband traveled extensively throughout Mexico and Central America, spending many summers in the highlands of Chiapas and Guatemala . Karen currently lives in Southern Arizona, near the Mexican border.
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